Navy Taxi
by antsyanne
Summary: Merder AU: Derek quit his upperclass life to lead a simpler one; between Med School and a bad relationship, Meredith is struggling to please her mother. What happens when they meet? Can they teach each other a thing or two?
1. Damnit

**Navy Taxi by Kate Nash**

_Rain spat in my face, thanks a lot mate_

_And I lost a tenner on the way_

_Thinking about it, did I spend it last night_

_When I was drunk and I wanted to get more drunk_

_Missed the train, thanks a lot mate_

_I didn't want to be late today, cause I'm always late_

_And I really hate always being late_

_And now the other train is delayed... great._

_Carrying bags and a navy taxi man said_

_"Take your time love_

_'Cause you don't have to rush_

_'Cause it's your life and it's no one else's, sweetheart_

_Don't let someone put you in a box." _

_So I take all that other stuff that I said before_

_And I'm gonna make it work_

_'Cause I'm losing my mind and it's driving me up the wall_

_So I tried to help you carry your shopping_

_But I wasn't concentrating, I was talking_

_And I got it caught on the side of this thing and it split_

_And I'd try to help you walk along but I'd probably end up pushing you over_

_But don't worry, I'll never let you fall_

_And I'm stubborn and I shout and I'll cut you out_

_And I'll make you feel like I never wanted to make you feel_

_And I'm stubborn and I shout and I'll cut you out_

_And I'll make you feel like I never wanted to make you feel_

_Carrying bags and a navy taxi man said_

_"Take your time love_

_'Cause you don't have to rush_

_'Cause it's your life and it's no one else's, sweetheart._

_Don't let someone put you in a box." _

_So I take all that other stuff that I said before_

_And I'm gonna make it work_

_Because I'm losing my mind and it's driving me up the wall_

_And this time, it will be different, _

_This time, it will be different_

**Chapter 1: Damnit**

"DON'T follow me!" she yelled as she heard urgent footsteps behind her. She didn't bother looking around to see if he had stopped, simply hoping that he had gotten the message at last. For a second she heard nothing. Then…

"Meredith."

Okay, maybe he was more thick-skulled than she had imagined. Meredith took a deep breath and put up the façade, she had had to work on since she was born. After calmly pushing the elevator button, she slowly turned around to face his panting face. He seemed to shrink under her chilly glance.

"Yes?" Meredith simply asked, cold indifference evident in her voice. Hell no, if she would ever break in front of him.

"I…" he muttered, clearly taken aback by her lack of interest-attitude. "Meredith…"

The elevator announced its presence with a little noise. Meredith gave him one last look before turning her back to him, careful not to show her face as she entered the elevator; he was not supposed to see the lone tear that was now making its way down her cheek.

How did it come to this?

Was it her? Had she not been the perfect girlfriend, always presentable and picturesque, never in a mood, never without a white smile on her face? Had she ever put any of her burdens on him, had she ever been too busy or too tired for him?

No, Meredith had been the perfect girlfriend. And yet, something had gone wrong, something had failed. She had failed.

Lost in thoughts, Meredith stepped out of the elevator and out on the street. The misty, damp weather kept the streets of New York less walked than usual; the characteristic, yellow cabs flying by.

Meredith had never minded the rain; right now it seemed rather useful to her as it mingled with her own tears.

The phone she was clutching in her hand per habit let out a shrill tone. Automatically, she held it up to her ear.

"Hello?" she asked, her voice husky and swollen in a way. She closed her eyes and moved her free hand to massage her forehead as she heard who was on the other side.

"Meredith?" a penetrating voice asked. "Where the hell are you?"

"Mother," Meredith greeted her, working to at least keep her voice cool and professional like it usually was; she couldn't even begin to pull the rest together. Ellis had many talents but after all, she couldn't see her through the phone. "What are you talking about?"

"What am I talking about!" Ellis shrieked. Meredith ransacked her brain to figure it out, but all she could find was a massive black hole in her memory. "The gala, Meredith, the gala!"

Shit, Meredith thought to herself and looked at the clock. She was 15 minutes late.

"So where are you?"

"I'm coming!" Meredith quickly assured her, taking a deep breath, looking down at her soaked jeans-top-and-heels ensemble. "I just need to go home and change…"

"Change?" Ellis asked, sourly. "Meredith, what the hell have you been doing?"

"Just give me," Meredith thought for a second, "20 minutes."

"You have 5," Ellis snorted. Just before she hung up, she added, "We need to get some photos together."

Ah the photos, Meredith thought with strain. Sometimes she wondered if that was all her famous mother lived for, the photos, the galas.

Meredith reached for her purse to put away her phone. Only it wasn't there.

"Damnit!" she yelled, lifting her face to the sky, letting the raindrops drench her.

There was only one place she could have left it and she sure as hell wasn't going back up there; surely, he still had the girl in there since she hadn't seen her come down. Lying, cheating bastard…

Meredith sat down on the sidewalk and hid her face in her hands. She needed to get out of there before the two of them came out of the building behind her.

A car came to a halt right in front of her. She glanced up when she heard the window scroll down and stared into a pair of beautiful blue eyes.

"Need some help?"


	2. Finer Than Before

**I won't update as often as on Time Won't Let Me Go – because I have nothing banked. But please enjoy, it's long for my standards **

**Chapter 2: Finer Than Before**

"Need some help?"

The poor girl was staring at him and he found himself unable to look a way. She had instantaneously caught his eyes with her beautiful green ones - without intention of ever letting them go, it seemed.

There was a certain something in her glance; hurt, evidently, it was so obvious that she had been crying by the glistening eyelashes, the way her emerald orbs collided in beautiful contrast to the red rims that framed them.

Alarm, and a certain amount of suspicion, was unmistakably apparent in there as well; the way her eyes were so wide that the lashes almost touched the brow, the slight vibration on the top of her right cheek.

But there was something more, a clearness… Yes, Derek Shepherd thought to himself, it was the sheer, absolute clarity, the intellect, the jade fire that smouldered just below the surface. It was a comprehensibility that could in no way be distrusted. It was what made him unable to look away; even if he had wanted to.

They could have stood there for mere seconds or several seemingly sunlit hours; Derek couldn't tell. All he knew was that he felt a twinge of loss, when the girl finally broke the contact, staring down.

Her cheeks were blossoming with a faint red that made him smile. As she made a move to get up, Derek remembered his manners and rushed out of the car to offer a hand.

She looked up at him, sceptical – yet again, Derek was warmed by the fire – and deliberated for a second before placing her tiny, cold hand in his palm with regal manner. His hand immediately closed around it, enjoying the intimacy and pulling her tiny frame from the ground with ease.

The second she was vertical, she swiftly pulled her hand back, avoiding his gaze. Quickly, she ran her hands over her clothes, trying, and failing, to brush off the dirt on her jeans.

"Thanks," she muttered, still not looking at him, as she began walking away.

Derek felt a sense of panic in the back of his mind. She couldn't go just yet! Wanting at least one more look at those eyes, he called out for her.

"Wait!"

She froze and turned around, finally meeting his searching gaze.

"Yes?" she hesitantly asked. Her voice was low and hoarse, intense.

"Do you need a ride?"

She glanced at the car with scepticism apparent in her features.

"That's a real cab?"

"Yes," Derek chuckled, and was delighted to pry an entire sentence out of her. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"Well…" Meredith mumbled. "It's blue."

"True," Derek smiled at her observation. "It's strangely refreshing, huh?"

"Hm." The girl didn't smile. "So you're not some creep, driving around in a fake cab or whatever?"

Derek didn't know what to say and ended up shaking his head in the same gravely serious tone she used. It was fascinating, how she could be soaked to the bone, stained with Manhattan dirt and wearing the most lifeless features he had seen in a long time and still strike him as beautiful.

"I haven't got any money on me."

"It's okay," Derek assured her. She raised her eyebrows. "What kind of man would I be if I left a beautiful woman alone in the rain?"

"Oh so you _are _a creep," Meredith concluded. "Or just a cheesy dude with an urge to play the knight in navy cab."

Derek glared at her.

"Get in," he muttered, opening the backseat door for her. Derek was surprised to actually see a tiny smirk on her face, when he cast a stolen glance at her. Tiny, but there. It disappeared as soon as it showed; her face was yet again a glum cover.

He got in the car himself and turned up the heat; the girl had to be freezing.

"Where to?"

When he received nothing in reply, Derek turned around to face her. She was staring into the air, a lone tear making its way down her throat.

"Miss?"

She looked up at him and a knot formed in his stomach; her eyes were filled with moisture, almost spilling over. The girl's hands were in resolute fists in her lap.

"I… uh…." She paused, taking a deep breath, clearly trying, and miserably failing, to keep herself together. "Can you take me to…"

She never finished her sentence, as the tears finally broke loose and streamed down her flushed face. Derek looked at her for a second, the knot in his stomach tightening as he wondered what had made her this fragile in front of a complete stranger; then he switched off the motor, stepped out of the car and came to her side to open her door. As he did, she looked up at him through her tears with a funny sense of dignity.

"What are you doing?" she asked suspiciously. "Was the snot not a part of the agreement? Am I not woman enough? Do you need a more poised damsel in distress?"

Taken aback, Derek wondered how she had gotten that idea into her head. He slowly shook his head.

"No, I'm taking you over there," he gestured to a tiny café across the road, "and I'll buy you a cup of coffee."

She still looked at him, incredulous.

"That's really bad business, you know?" she asked, deliberating.

"Yes," Derek chuckled and looked her in the eye, measuring her reaction. "You just look like you could use someone to talk to."

"I don't do that." she firmly stated. "Talk. Ever."

"Just this once?"

"I have to be somewhere…" The girl trailed off, glancing at her clock. Derek took her whole appearance in, the swollen eyes, the flushed skin, the wet hair, the dirty clothes… The tears that weren't even dry on her cheeks. She was in no condition to be anywhere.

"Come on!" Derek said in a lighter voice. "Please…"

"Meredith."

"Meredith." Derek tasted the word on his tongue, smiling a little as he looked into her eyes. "Please."

She seemed just as unwilling to break the eye contact as he was. It was as if the emerald orbs melted, just a little bit, under his intense gaze. Or was that pure imagination?

They stood there for another immeasurable moment; this time it was Derek who broke it by clearing his throat. Meredith just kept looking at him.

"Okay." It came in a whisper and had Derek not been so aware of her, he might not have heard.

"Okay," he repeated with a gentle smile.

*.*.*.*

"Here you go," the waitress said with a warm smile but eyed Meredith with a look of concern. "You okay sweetheart?"

"I'm fine," Meredith answered so quickly and mechanically that Derek could tell it wasn't the first time she had said it.

The waitress didn't look convinced but she shrugged and let it go as she placed their orders in front of them.

"Let me know if you need anything," Derek thanked her and she walked away.

They sat there in mutual silence for a moment, neither touching their coffee.

"You're not fine."

"What?" Meredith said, surprised as she looked up, a sad little smile crossing his features.

"You're not fine."

"I am fine," she protested, surprised.

"No."

"Yes.

"No."

"This is getting old," Meredith muttered with a roll of her eyes. Derek searched his brain for a different approach.

"So tell me something about yourself," he said and she gazed at him, astonished.

"Why?"

"You promised me you would talk."

"Well maybe I changed my mind," she pouted slightly without knowing and Derek's eyes went straight to her flushed lips.

"Meredith," he said, catching her eyes once more. "Please?"

Derek could tell he had won her over when she blushed.

"There's really not much to tell uh…"

"It's Derek. And I want to hear it anyways."

"Well Derek," Meredith hesitantly began and glanced at his encouraging face. "I'm 25 years old and I live here in New York."

Derek nodded to show that he was listening but didn't say anything.

"I'm in my last year of medical school," she continued. "I want to become a surgeon."

Derek smiled a little. He thought of telling her but decided that he didn't want her to stop talking, now that he finally had her opening up a little.

"That's pretty young. I take it you haven't taken any sabbatical years?"

"No," Meredith said. Was it imagination or did Derek hear a hint of bitterness in her voice?

"Why not?"

"My mother thought it was a waste of time. Said I needed to keep my focus."

Derek scrutinized her face and the frown lines that appeared when she talked about her mother. What was that about?

"Any siblings?" He asked.

"No. I have a person though."

"A person?" Derek frowned.

"You know, a person." Meredith smiled slightly and it looked amazing on her. "If you murdered someone, she's the person you'd call to help you drag the corpse across the living room floor."

"Oh," Derek chuckled. "You do that a lot?"

She threw her head back, just a little, exposing the soft skin on her neck. Her blonde hair, disobedient and curly from the rain fell backwards. And out came a little noise that made Derek's heart pound harder in his chest.

She giggled.

"No." She seemed comfortable, leaning back as she grabbed her coffee. "It's the principle."

"So," Derek said, looking intently at her. "Meredith, 25 years old, no siblings but a person. Has a mother that sounds like a bore."

Meredith chuckled again but it was darker this time, bitter again.

"She's just… She expects a lot."

"Why?"

"Let's just say I have some pretty big shoes to fill," Meredith muttered sadly.

"What about your dad?" The second he had said it, he regretted it; her face darkened and the green fire that had been so filled with passionate anger when he saw her and so incredibly soft mere moments ago was now cold and lifeless.

She didn't answer. Derek decided to change the topic.

"Boyfriend?"

Her jaw clenched.

"Meredith?"

"Not anymore," she hissed.

A weird sense of relief overwhelmed him for a second before worry kicked in.

"What happened?"

"It's… pretty simple actually. He asked me to marry him, I said I wasn't ready, he was okay with it – at least I thought so until I walked in on him and some brunette with a fake tan and breasts to go with it."

There was silence for a long moment. Derek's hands went into fists.

"Derek?" Meredith finally asked in a surprisingly normal voice.

"Do you want me to run him over?" he asked impassively.

"Tempting but no," Meredith smiled crookedly and sighed. "I don't want anything to do with him."

Derek softened and reached out for her hand without thinking. She looked surprised but took it willingly enough.

"Are you okay?" Stupid question.

"I'm fine," Meredith said automatically.

"I thought we were past that?" Derek chuckled slightly. She took a deep breath, looked at him and smiled.

"Okay, I'm not fine. But I'm finer than before."


	3. No Strings Attached

**Chapter 3: No Strings Attached**

Late.

She was late.

Again.

"Laptop… phone… keys… shit, where are my keys!"

Meredith groaned in frustration; after a second of deliberation, she turned her purse – the old one she was using, as she was too much of a coward to get her favourite one back from the bastard ex boyfriend who held it hostage – upside down. Books, lipstick, a bottle of water and impressive amounts of junk fell out on the bed sheets; but no keys. They weren't there.

"Keys… keys… keys…" Meredith chanted to herself as she searched yesterday's jeans and jacket pockets without luck. Just as she sat down in the middle of the pile of clothes on the floor, trying to think, her phone started ringing.

Meredith didn't have the courage to look at the cell phone to see who was calling. It could only be three persons in the entire world: her boyfriend, her person or her mother, neither of who she was particularly interested in talking to right now.

If she could just ignore it… No, Meredith wasn't that kind of person. She had responsibilities.

She pressed the tiny green button.

"Hello."

"Meredith!" the voice of Ellis Grey roared. "Care to tell me where the hell you were last night?"

Meredith closed her eyes as a well-known headache was forming at her temples.

"I'm sorry… I just, I couldn't make it."

"What do you mean you couldn't make it?"

"I… I needed a break."

"A break! Greys don't need breaks. Damn it, Meredith, you're too much like your father. Weak!"

Her head was pounding in a steady rhythm. She closed her eyes and forced herself to stay calm, not to give in, not to react exactly like her mother wanted her to; like an immature child.

"Mother," Meredith said, firmly and sounded as calm as she possibly could. "I'm going to be late for school."

"Why do you even bother?" Ellis snorted. "You and I both know you'll never make it."

"Mother-"

"And you're dragging Christina down with you-"

"Mother," Meredith loudly interrupted, carefully rubbing her temples in soothing circles. "Goodbye."

She urgently pressed the red button before her mother could say anything. Closing her eyes, Meredith got up and as she did, she heard a ringing sound under her foot.

"There you were," she muttered in the air and bend to pick up her keys that had hid under the pile of clothes.

Swiftly, she threw most of her purse's content back in it, before hurrying out the door, into the elevator, down in the hall and out on the street. Where she glanced upwards and came to an abrupt halt.

It was kind of strange; a little creepy, definitely. But all Meredith could feel was the amused smile that spread on her face, her oppressive headache all but forgotten.

Right in front of her held a car, a navy taxi to be precise, windows open due to the blistering heat of the day that was in unusual contrast to weeks and weeks of never-ending rain.

And there, leaning against the car was a man – and my oh my, that man could lean, Meredith couldn't help but think.

He was wearing a pair of old jeans that were slightly worn at the edges and fit neatly and a casual sea blue button up shirt, unbuttoned at the top with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The thick black hair was messy and perfectly windblown; only it seemed so carefree, so innocently unintentional on him.

There was the crooked smile to go along with the crooked nose; and the slight stubble on his chin showing in the bright sun. And then there was the eyes, the unfathomable, intelligent, warm cerulean eyes that she had saved for last, butterflies somersaulting in her stomach as she caught them and wondered if it really was as good as she remembered…

It wasn't. It was better.

Just as she was drowning in the pools of clear blue, he spoke in a rather throaty voice, carrying a trace of amusement.

"Hi."

"Hi," she simply replied in her surprise. "What are you doing here? How do you know I live here?"

"Well I drove you home yesterday, remember?"

"Oh," Meredith replied, feeling rather stupid under his amused smirk, "Right."

"I… I brought coffee," he said; for the first time, she thought she heard a hint of insecurity in his voice, behind the overwhelming smile. Or was she fooling herself?

She looked down and noticed only now the coffee mug he was offering her. After a short hesitation she took it.

"Thanks," she looked up and smiled at him. "Derek."

"I uh…" definitely insecure as he shifted his weight from foot to foot, "I wanted to hear if you'd like to have a picnic with me?"

"A what?"

"You know," Derek said, slowly as if talking to an adamant child, "Food in a basket on a blanket in a park…"

"I know what a picnic is."

"Oh well then, would you like to go?"

Meredith looked at his hopeful smile and felt a pang of disappointment, as she knew what her answer would be.

"I'm sorry I can't," she sighed, checking her watch. "I'm late for school."

"Skip it," he grinned at her; she couldn't help but grin back. "Just this once."

"But it's school and-"

"There will be lots and lots of school and then seven years of residency after that," Derek pleaded. "You know, it's not everyday you get an offer like this."

"How do you know that?" she asked in wonder at his sudden change; the confidence was back.

"Oh please," he snorted. "I am incomparable."

"Cocky much?" she giggled and he beamed.

"Meredith," he said, smiling as he did so; she marvelled just a little bit at the sound of her name in his mouth. "Please?"

Had her life depended on it, Meredith would still have absolutely no idea how in hell he did that; that thing where his eyes melted, vulnerability, exposure in his glance.

It scared her, how much power his person had over her; one look and a 'please' and she was a goner.

A goner, left behind in absolute amazement over his mood swing, the contrast between confident and defenceless sides of him.

"Okay," she simply said as if there was no choice; in reality there wasn't.

"Great!" Derek just grinned, seemingly highly entertained with his new weapon.

After a quiet ride, Derek humming a tune and Meredith staring out the window, sipping coffee, they came to a halt. Perfectly blasé, Derek pulled out a picnic basket of old movies from the backseat, smugly ignoring Meredith's astonished stare.

Though the weather was clear and sunny, the park was relatively empty at the early time of the day. They hid under a lone tree, enjoying the flickers of sunlight that made their way through the ceiling of leaves above them.

"You've spend quite some time on this," Meredith commented as Derek silently unpacked his basket, revealing sandwiches, a bottle of ice tea, two cans of ice cream and fresh fruit cut into small, delicate pieces.

He looked up at her and smiled brightly but didn't comment. As he finished, he motioned for her to sit. She did; but he poutingly waved her closer. Giggling, Meredith scooted nearer to where he was sitting.

"Eat whatever you want," he encouraged, picking up a slice of apple for himself. After short deliberation, Meredith picked a sandwich to munch on. It was gone in no time at all.

"You're a fast eater?" Derek chuckled and offered a strawberry that she willingly accepted, hungrier than she had realized.

"I didn't have breakfast," she protested. "I was busy."

"What was the matter with you this morning?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Just when I saw you walk out of your front door," Derek watched her closely, "You had this look on your face."

Meredith thought back to her headache caused by a certain phone call and her thoughts darkened a little.

"I was fine."

"Meredith," Derek chuckled, half laughing, half annoyed. "That doesn't work on me, remember?"

"Right," Meredith paused, a wondering frown crossing her features. "Why not, do you think?"

"Your eyes," Derek peacefully mumbled. "They tend to speak for you."

Meredith didn't know what to say, so she waited for him to continue, as a warm feeling spread through her body.

Somehow, awfully annoying as it could seem, she was delighted that he had called her bluff. Again.

No one ever did that.

"So?" Derek encouraged, "More boyfriend trouble?"

"He's not my boyfriend," Meredith sighed. "And no. I just had a phone call from my mother, wondering where the hell I was last night."

"Oh," Derek looked at her, shrinking a little. "I'm sorry for getting you in trouble."

"It's fine," Meredith assured him. "I just… I usually don't do this."

"What?"

"Ditch my mother, skip school… I have responsibilities."

"So what did you tell her?"

"Not much really," Meredith rolled her eyes. "She did most of the talking."

"But if you told her," Derek gently suggested, "About your ex-boyfriend-"

"She wouldn't understand," Meredith sighed. "Finn is rich. And knows people. She likes him, as much as she is able to like someone. And she thinks I'm weak enough as it is; mourning over a boyfriend like a lame ass loser does not need to be added onto the list of things that make me a failure."

Derek didn't say anything for a long time and Meredith got nervous that her rant had been too much, too self-pitiful.

"Look I'm sorry," she said in the lightest voice she could muster. "Let's talk about something else."

"No, no…" Derek assured her and put a warm hand on her back; she felt the heat surge through her body. "You should talk about it."

"I'm boring you," Meredith sighed.

"No, I was just thinking," Derek paused, "I disagree."

"With what?"

"I don't think you're a failure."

She unconsciously leaned into him; when she realized, she self-consciously tried to pull back, but his arm had tightened around her, keeping her in place.

"Thank you Derek."

"You're welcome."

They sat there for an immeasurable while, watching people walk by as the sun rose above the skyscrapers. Meredith shifted and looked up at his smiling face.

"Tell me something about yourself."

His smile grew wider.

"What do you want to know?"

"Loads of things."

"Well," Derek chuckled, "Choose one."

Meredith closed her eyes, perfectly content and peaceful with his arm protectively around her.

"Why did you become a cab driver?"

"Ah," Derek chuckled. Nervously? "Long story."

"Since I am here, having time," Meredith smiled, eyes still closed. "Tell me."

"Meredith-"

"Derek," she interrupted, opening her eyes to look at his hesitating face. "I've told you stuff. Stuff I don't tell a lot of people. Talk to me. Please."

It was the 'please' that did it, Meredith smugly thought as Derek's eyes melted. Apparently that worked both ways.

"Meredith," Derek hesitated. She was settling back in his arms, closing her eyes again. "Would you believe me if I said I used to be a surgeon?"

She opened her eyes once again, looking bewildered at him.

"You're joking right?"

"Nope," he popped on the 'p'. "A neurosurgeon, actually."

"No way!" she shouted, giggling almost hysterically. "Just, no way!"

He smiled down at her, apparently finding amusement in her little fit.

"Are you done?" he asked, his voice teasingly insulted.

"You can't drop a bomb like that and expect me to keep calm," Meredith giggled. "Why did you stop?"

"I…" he hesitated. "I didn't like the pace. The stress, the arrogance, the fact that it became more about money and egos than saving human lives; I guess the bad parts outdid the advantages."

Now it was Meredith that was quiet for a while.

"You think it's stupid," Derek darkly concluded.

"No." Meredith smiled and looked up at him. "It makes sense."

"So," he continued in a lighter voice. "I quit, bought a cab and now live in freedom," he grinned. "No strings attached."

Meredith stiffened slightly at his last words.


End file.
